Its been quite a few days...
The conscious decision which came directly from the gray matter started giving a blow. I wondered, whats actually its heading to..?? Many 'wh' questions started hammering the top. The most confused state is now getting a bit more confused. Heart started pounding at a grater speed. Its loud and clear. The cold hand turned pale. And the wistful eyes started becoming impatient.
My silent voice demanded EXPLANATION...
I tried to listen to me, but unknowingly I was far from me. I was able to see me, but couldn't hold me. I could see the movement of my lips, couldn't figure out the words of it. I could see the impatient eyes, couldn't help it.
I closed my eyes, and between those jumbling figures, colors and faces, I found something that was patient, steady and poised. I thought I was there, just near the end of my quest. Just I had to figure it out what that twinkling thing was, and its going to be over. I pressed my closed eyes to see it more clear, but nothing changed. Clarity was unable to give it a meaning. Uniquely ubiquitous shades have failed to explain. Impatient heartbeats were not loud enough to reach the soul. I gave a last try, but nothing fecundate.
I opened my eyes.... I saw around me. Everything with a reason to justify their presence. I was able to feel each and every justification of each and every unuttered word. A smooth blow of wind touched my face. Heartbeat started becoming calm. Eyes have somehow stopped their impatient search.
I was confused. How suddenly everything started becoming normal? Without knowing the reason of being such impatient. Without being able to find out the meaning of that static thing. Without being answered any of my complex questions. How-come I have started getting back to normal?
Whatever may be the situation is, how confusing the questions are, how unclear it seems to be. If its about you. "YOU KNOW EVERY TINY DETAILS OF IT". Its just you play a hide and seek with your thoughts. You don't want your unconscious thoughts take over your controlled and conscious acts.
Now I know everything I was searching. Now I know every voice I am looking for. Now I know if I am far from me, where exactly I am.
But I have stopped bothering myself. I prefer to play that hide and seek. I prefer not to know things that are harsh. I prefer to walk with the wind and every wind gives me a feeling that "THIS IS A WIND OF CHANGE"
H M BADRUZZAMAN :)
