SMILE....... Its precious.. :)

It was 2nd week of Feb. I was standing in one of the tacky streets of Kolkata. Slightly lost in my own

whirlpool of thoughts, moving the pen between my fingers and pondering about the mistakes that i had just

committed in my GATE paper. I was sure it had not gone the way I had expected. I thought soon I would be

in the final year. Companies would start hitting the campus. Where I would be standing? Standing tall

or in toe? EXPECTATIONS would get pulverized or i would come out with FLYING COLORS.

Before I could add some more philosophical colors in my thoughts, it started drizzling. I started searching

a roof to save me from the rain. But soon it started raining CATs and DOGs. I was fully wet and was waiting for

the BUS number 230 which would take me to my hostel. But I was not aware of the fact that Bus-230 had two different

routes. There was no bus for the direction I was heading for. By then I was shivering a little. I saw

a Hand-pulled Rickshaw wala came in-front of me and asked my PUZZLED face- DADA KOTHAI JABE (Brother where u will be going?)

I said-" DUM-DUM. And I am waiting for the Bus-230". He put the handle of the Rickshaw down and said- "Bus-230 aager

stoppage e pabe" (You will get bus-230 from the next stoppage). I felt irritated knowing the fact.

He said he can take me there, but will charge Rs-20. I personally never liked to travel in these hand pulled

rickshaws. According to me I would be hurting the puller. But my mother always used to tell me that if everybody started

thinking like me, then how these rickshaw pullers would going to survive.

I thought before my maudlin thoughts trap me with their sentiments I should be heading towards my hostel.

I embarked the rickshaw without giving much thought on wasting Rs-20 extra in-spite of 5 rupees bus fare.

The man carrying me was certainly in his mid 60s. Even he was shivering while carrying me. Somehow I was feeling

little guilty. I started talking to him. I asked him where do you live? He pointed out towards right and said there.

I could see a small slum. Then he started- "But we have to shift from here in sometime. Because these rickshaws will

get banned by the government. And these slums will also get removed from there." I again asked him where he will go then?

Without turning his face he said- "Somewhere else.. Not sure where.." He started again and said- "You know I can live

anywhere but as my wife has some health issues, that only bothers me.. or I can live anywhere.." I didn't

know what to ask.. I tried to sound concerned and asked- "What has happened to your wife?" Again without

turning to my face he said-"Bodo Daktar(Sr. Doctor) told me she has CANCER". I was jaw dropped. I could not utter

a single word till i reached my destination. He put the rickshaw down, made room for me to come out. I handed him a 20 Rs

note. While taking it he said- "Babu God has given us the LIFE and I never ever feel pity about it. I know

I will do something and I know I can take care of her..." I could see a strange SMILE in his face.

A SMILE which was hardly earned but not fake.

A SMILE which was triumph for LIFE in odds.

A SMILE which was for HOPE...

My wet eyes looked at him. And I SMILED him back before boarding my bus-230.

So friends.... SMILE... no matters what happens :)

THE SILENT STAR........

How it feels looking at a star in the vast sky...?
Out of zillions, staring only one..
The silent night, with dazzling diamonds. Yet so calm and yet so gracefully composed.
So far from reach of this earth. Yet so promising. yet so impartable.
The caring stars, watching the earth. Talking and sharing..
So close, yet so far apart..

My eyes strucked to that one star. Listening to her. Amazed in her soothing, silent
voice. I dont know whether she was a part of any constellation or she was alone
in zillions. But there was something, that compelled me to leave my combative mood
and get fascinated with her twinkling charm. I saw my watch- It reads 01:32.
I realised I have spent more than half an hour standing in my balcony, staring that star.
A zephyr hit my face. I went back to my calculations and questions that actually took
me here in my balcony. I was fighting with my thoughts, quite natural for me. Lots of
unanswered questions love to take a tour through my mind. Now-a-days there frequency
has increased a little with few more IFs and BUTs. Every day we grow a day older. And
they say- "The older, the wiser". But sometime I wonder does WISER has anything to do
with CONFUSION and DISSATISFACTION. The more you grow, more aspects of everything
becomes clear. More deeply we can penetrate in our thoughts. More clearly we come
to our conlusions. But then it create CONFUSIONS. Yes it creates COMBATIVE mood.

Earlier a smiling face meant a HAPPY person. But today I fight to conclude was it
sarcastic? Earlier a sentence used to have one meaning, But today a sentence can have
DOUBLE MEANING. Earlier DREAM meant ALLADIN and CHIRAG. But today a dream has forced
to bear a REALISTIC outlook. Earlier GOOD BYE meant just for today. But today
its more than that. Earlier I wanted to be Hero for my parents. But today I
fight to increase my audience. Earlier ASPIRATION was for HAPPINESS. But today
its less for HAPPINESS and more for materialistic paramount.
Earlier lines were straight. But today lines have become less important than DEADLINES.
Eariler race meant 100m in school sports day. But today every moment is seen as a RACE
to prove.
Today..............................

I closed my eyes. Took a deep breath. Felt the heart-beat.
And again looked at the SKY. That star was still looking at me.
Ohhhh sorry actually
I was mesmerized by the calmness of that star. Took me out of the whirlpool of clashing
thoughts. There was an inexplicable consolation for the fighting thoughts from that
TWINKLING beauty. The inarticulate moment got silent words.
Dont know whether I have grown older or wiser. But for sure, now there are many
more questions in my head. And sometime these speechless STARS help me, not by
answering them, but by making me compose with their calm and silent voice...... :)