Happy Friendship Day

It was just another lethargic Saturday afternoon. I was fiddling with my phone. On the other end of the sofa, my wife was occupied with similar activity. The TV screen in front of us was playing random youtube videos. We had started with the big screen watching something together of common interest, but unknowingly shifted to smaller ones with individual interest. It was pretty evident the later was much more engaging. My twitter feeds was getting refreshed. But before it could load the refreshed feeds, the screen flashed with 'Fiki calling.' Fiki, my sister. It was almost 4:00PM here. I did my calculation in head, 2:30 AM in India. 'Why she is calling me at this hour, she never does that'. My heart skipped a bit. I picked up the call. Her rather calm voice - 'Dada, Taanish (my youngest nephew) and his father, both are having very high fever. Its not coming down from 105 C. I don't know what to do.'

Fiki lives with her husband and two sons in the suburbs of Kolkata. My brother in law is the principal of a residential sports school. They have their residence inside the campus itself. But because of the lockdown, they have moved to their (brother in law's) parental home, which is a small village in central Bengal.

She asked me - 'Shall I wash their heads with cold water?' I was in shock, but wanted to show my calmness - 'Its 105?, when did you give paracetamol?' 
- 'They took it few hours back, seems its not working. I am waiting for few more hours to pass to give them one more dose.'

I heard my older nephew 'Ayan' in his soft but crumbling voice - 'Mamoni dekho na, papa kemon kanpche. Ebaar ki hobe?' (Mom, see how father is shivering, what will happen now?)
My siter replied - 'Kichu hobe na papa, sob thik hoye jabe.' (Nothing will hapen, Everything will be fine.)

I asked her - 'How far is the hospital from here?'
- 'I don't know, and who will take us there now? I don't even know how to drive.'
Now she was loosing her calm. Started chocking.
I said wait, let me call Shrikant (my school friend, he is a doctor in India).
Luckily Shrikant picked the call even in that odd hour. He asked, is everything fine? I said wait let me add Fiki to the line. 

He listened everything, 1st thing he did was to calm her down, he said - 'Don't worry. It could be food poisoning as well, as he is having pain in stomach and vomiting tendency.' He asked her to bring the medicine box that she had, and to search few medicines. We were in luck, she had most of the medicines in one form or the other. Starting from antibiotics to high dose of paracetamol to anti-acids.

Next morning, they went to nearest clinic and got themselves tested for covid. Found out everyone one of them (her husband, both of her sons and her father-in-law and mother-in-law) were covid positive. Totally unaware on how to deal the situation. Other than Fiki, everyone one was so weak and fragile. She had mild fever as well, but everyone one else, they were deteriorating very fast. 
Somehow, she shifted her father-in-law and mother-in-law to the nearest hospital and started taking care of rest of them. She noticed the maids for cooking and cleaning and asked them not to come till everyone gets well.

As it was a small village, there were no online deliveries of groceries and food available. But there were few relatives around, who started delivering food to them.

Next few weeks were so tough, I could not talk to her for long. She would start sobbing. I assume we can not train our minds not to think the worst, when it comes about the apprehension of our closest. I was feeling so helpless.

With the grace of Almighty, with time, all of them have recovered or still recovering. And life seemed to be back to mundane chores.

Today when I got the message from one of my other friend, Pintu (Me, Srikant and Pintu were like 3 musketeers in the school. Both of them went to pursue their career in medicine and I tried my luck with engineering) - 'I just talked to Fiki, her husband's sugar level is fine now', I was kind of taken aback to last few weeks.
I was getting similar messages everyday from both of them how they have talked to my sister and the updates.

In these tough times many of us may have had similar situations.
I know few of us have lost our near and dear ones.
And more than often ours eyes might have gone wet.

This pandemic has done a lot of harm, but it made us realize: 
How trivial yet so blessed we are to be surrounded by so many beautiful people, whom we can call friends.
It has invoked the compassion to a new level.
It has made us cherish the present.
It has made us value the people around.
More than ever, I found the importance of listening to someone.
More than ever, I realized, it's not that important to be somewhere in person, you can be with someone from far across the world.
Asking how are they feeling, getting to know about their hardships, joining in the happiness of their gradual recovery, boosting someone's spirit. It made me feel connected.

My this friendship's day is dedicated to all my friends and family who were there  to listen to me, shared my worries and fears, cheered my sadness and bolstered my happiness.

May be you were not near, but you were always there. 

Happy Friendships Day

H M Badruzzaman

The SKY full of Stars

The sky was clear now. Full of stars. Though there were no street lights, the lights from the moving trucks, clearly showing the huge potholes on the road. There were water and mud all around from the last two days' continuous rain. The long queue of trucks were moving carefully balancing and dancing over those potholes. There were small children with their sacks waiting for the trucks, at the end of the turn, to collect the spilled over coal.
From the end of the road, there was a man coming. With each passing truck, the headlights were giving a glimpse of him. Every time the beam of light fell on him, his hands came up blocking it from his eyes. His shirt had black stains all around. Between stains, the yellow color was rarely visible. His trousers were rugged at the bottom. The floater was uneven and used up at the right side of the foot. His short hairs fully covered with dust. His dusky wet face wearing a blank expression walking towards the road. He crossed the road cautiously watching the moving trucks. 

He was Ajju. Ajju was a young man or rather a boy, still in his teens, but he looked much older. There were few men running towards him. They stopped him and one of them asked -
"All are out now?"
Ajju said - "Yes."
The man asked again - "What was the condition inside?"
Ajju replied - "Horror"
Sweat dropped from Ajju's chin. The man, placed his hand on his head, rubbed his hairs, which caused the coal dust scattered from his head, and told with a chocking voice -
"Its been a long and brutal day for you.. You go ahead.."

Ajju nodded, and started walking. He took a turn into the market, where the vegetable vendors were packing their stuffs, carefully folding their temporary structure of the shop and calling it a day. Amidst of these noises, Ajju was still lost and occupied in his thoughts while walking. He crossed the market and was heading towards the platform. He climbed the slope, passed the station name board, and saw a wooden bench. He went there and sat on it, stretched his arms and pushed back his head. He closed his eyes.
There was no one on the platform. The only tea vendor was long gone as well. Right behind the bench, there was the closed ticket counter and a clock hanging on the wall of it. It was just past 11:00 PM. In the dark and silent night, with passing second, the clock was making the sound - tik.., tik.., tik.. 

Ajju was tired. As if his last ounce of energy was struggling with him. With each 'tik...', his mind was taking him to the place he somehow survived.
The sound of water from the pores in the already flooded coal mine. tip... tip... tip..
He had managed to climb on the top of a trolly full of coal. His head was touching the roof of the mine. His hat had a light, but the battery was dying. The silence among the other miners were unmistakable. The words of consolations and bravery had lost its hope. Gradually but quite decisively in the last 8 hours, everyone there, had moved from being cautiously optimistic to silent. They were 12 workers inside an already congested hole flooded with water and somehow clinging to their lives. The path outside was blocked. All they could hear a constant thud and a the sound of dripping water. Earlier they were sure, the 'thud' was from the rescue team and they were trying to get the coal out of the path. But with passing time and the realization of how long and deep they were inside, the sureness was fading.

For every person working on a mine, each turn and each cravings in the wall and each light post inside it, is a symbol or reference to one and just one thing - "How much its deep and far from the ground level opening". So, nobody was asking or taking about that. Everyone knew, it would take hours to clear that thing up. (if someone was clearing it)
Electricity was cut off with the first burst of water and coal mud coming inside the mine. The light on their hat was the last resort of hope and keeping them away from the abyss of darkness. One light would go down, the other hat light would come up, without any verbal communication. As if they all know who is next. Ajju's light was about to die and everyone knew that his was the last. With a few blinks, the light went off. And with it, it's the end of hope for many. The darkness was absolute. Ajju was feeling pain in his heart. Someone was whimpering. Not sure someone or everyone. Their feeble sounds were eating him up and his heartbeat was increasing. In both of his hands he was holding block of coal. He tried to crush them. He could not feel any strength in his hands. He was sure, the end was near. His only wish at that time was to see a glimpse of light through the pores, which had become impenetrable. He closed his eyes.

A train just crossed the platform, and the sound of the fast crossing train made Ajju react and he stood up from the bench in horror. He looked at himself. He realized, he was out of the coal mine. He recalled, how the guy next to him woke him up inside the mine, and pointed to the chain and a source of light from the top. The rescue team was able to make a hole and they were fetching everyone through the chain tied to a crane above the ground. 

His heartbeat was still very fast. Hands were wet. He saw a water tap next him. He went there, yes there was water in the tap. He washed his face and took a few deep breaths. He started walking.  At the end of the platform there were many mud houses. He crossed few and after that stopped infront of one. Ajju's old mother was siting there. She tried to stand up seeing Ajju with the help of her stick. Ajju helped her.  She was very weak and her wrinkled face was full of tears. She could barely say - "someone told me that you were coming".
They went inside. At one side there was a small bed. Next to it, there was a stove made of mud and few utensils. And at the middle of it, there was a plastic bucket holding the water that poured from the hole in the roof from last two days. Ajju sat next to the bucket and his mother gave him a plate with chapati. They ate together without much of a discussion. But their eyes were not stopping and nobody cared to get rid of the tears rolling from it. After the food, Ajju helped his mother and took her to the bed. Wiped her eyes, kissed her on the forehead. He took out the rolled mattress from one corner, removed the bucket and opened it there. He lay down. And while he was sleeping, his eyes went above to the hole in the roof. He saw a portion of the sky with twinkling stars. Today the annoying hole in the roof was a divine sight to him. 

He smiled and wiped his eyes. He thanked almighty for everything and went to sleep. 

H M Badruzzaman

Hope is a good thing.

Hope is a good thing.

When things around us, start

falling apart.

When dreams in our eyes, left alone and dry.

When atrocities grow and negativity thrives.

We turn to HOPE. Hope everything gonna be fine.

When we are worried of our near and dear one.

When we are at fight with the unknown.

When our future is uncertain and mind is horror ridden.

We turn to HOPE. Hope everything gonna be fine.

When we have more questions than answers.

When our thoughts keep thinking disasters.

When our hands move up for dua and prayers to our masters.

We turn to HOPE. Hope everything gonna be fine.

Even in these gloomy days, 

My heart fills with optimism for human race.

"Mankind will prevail" my inner voice says.

When I move back to HOPE's way.

LOCKED in the four walls 😞

But look around, if we are lucky, isn't that our home? 🙂

SOCIALLY CRIPPLED. 😞

But wait, whats that GIGGLE? 

Isn't that our family? 🙂

Restaurants closed. 😞

Whats that noise on the kitchen board?

Isn't that our meal getting ready? 🙂

Hang on there, the wheel is turing.

Lets keep the fire inside us burning.

Again we will shout together on a soccer game.

Again we will soak in sun-light with POS-picnic plate.

Again we will argue in conference rooms.

Again we will roam around the office without any magic brooms.

Till then, 

We turn to HOPE. Hope everything gonna be fine.

Embrace the New Beginning

With each step, we move.. forward, backward, dribble and run.
And with every blink of eyes the world around us moved on.
The WORLD and WE morphed, changed and flourished.
And as we see this year is almost passing by, leaving us with so many memories to be cherished.

For many of us, our bags are packed and we are ready to GO..
To some planned, some unplanned, some ubiquitous or some rare SHORES.
For some of us, we will just lie back and enjoy the SHOW.
The show thats called as LIFE. The show which is full of SURPRISE. The show full of excitement and AWE.

In our mundane Life, at this time of year we put a Smile.
Smile as we are Happy, Smile to make others feel Special.
In otherwise predictable Life, at this time of year we forget all our Strife.
Forget disagreement, Forget differences as we are Happy. With Good words for others, yes we become Vocal.

When our wishlist has grown High, We often ask 'Aren't we grown up and should be Shy'?
But the child inside us keeps believing - "Jingle Bells, Reindeers, Santa in star filled blue SKY :)"
Deadlines, Code Freeze, Sanity, Regression, Support and Testing CLAUSE.. Sorry, Can't remember.. What are THOSE.. ;)
Let us be in our UTOPIA. With Santa, planned Trips, Dreams and out of all PHOBIA :)

One more year passed. With many accolades and many unfulfilled DREAMS.
There must be a few days with num eyes and many with loud cheer, laughs and SCREAMS.
Its the Memories that we EARN, They will always be precious and wont Return.
As we are standing in the CUSP. Just get ready to embrace the new beginning with a big HUG :)

MERRY CHRISTMASS and HAPPY NEW YEAR...


H M Badruzzaman

My Onsite Team

Lets start with a clean slate, yes that was what I thought from my ONSITE's 1st step.
A totally new team, with all the new faces. Forget about new team, its new COUNTRY which had removed all my past traces.
The 1st sentence that I had spoken here searching for Santa Calra.. My shuttle driver gave a condescending look.. "Its CLARA.."
I thought here this is how I will be always smitten, But for a change when i saw my team i realized
CLIENTS and CLIENT managers are mere human like us and nothing to be frightened.

'iPhone Team' complex scenarios and numerous use cases, afraid of getting lost I started my from the basics.
1st thing that strike my mind, No matter how big the problem grew, As the name suggests, Narayan was always there to guide us through.
With pristine clear understanding and fast outburst of words from Rejo left me shattered, often made me wonder which processor does he have in his gray matter.
It was Brady, with Transaction Story Dash and BOPIS cart, believed in me and made me little worth to the team and its part.
With list of questions, we looked for Anshul asked - these are not making sense, From his finger-tips Anshul wrote the answers and used to look back - Anything else?

The iPhone room, next to Narayan's cabin was always a happening place. Saurav and Purnima moved up to the ladder, but rest of us still miss that place.
Saurav has always been more a friend than client, taught me many things which will always be asset of mine.
From making me understand Congo, to together writing splunk queries and From giving attention to details to sharing weekend stories.
Whenever I went to Saurav, got good interesting works. So, please don't forget me when the new UI change comes. :)
Team meetings are always filled with Zach's wit. And now Sabitha has to find a new person to organize SAMOSA treat.

My stint here wouldn't be so fare, if Bindu, Preeti you guys won't be here.
We all know Bindu runs the show and Preeti is our Goddess. But I will always cherish the laughs, the zamba trip and endless stories.
Vikas, Avinash brothers and Rohit, you guys will have a less person to decide lunch place and fight, because I am going out of your sight.
Latha's laugh and Pancy's rrrrunning wont get noticed,
I am pretty sure even sometimes I will also be missed.

H M Badruzzaman

End is only a New Beginning.

There are some days that DAZZLE us.
And there are some that CONFUSE.
There are some days that SADEN us.
And there are some that SOOTHE.

With each day passing, we learn a little more and grow a little more.
With every difficulty thrashing, we walk a little more and we know a little more.


With the buzzing of phone, the morning starts.
With tired eyes and iCal's tone, the whole day stares.
Gripped with Projects and its ever changing requirements.
Dipped in keyboard, eclipse and understanding of enhancements.

In the banalities of life, we always find a glimpse of surprise.
In the rat race to thrive, we always find a reason to smile.


With the memories we have build our castle.
With sheer hard work we have disputed our hassles.
Aspirations and Dreams have never left our eyes.
Always eagerly waiting for the wings, and we are ready to fly.

With every storm in the path, we went back to core (java) and secured our roots.
Well, we have understood with only secured roots we reap the life's fruits.


With one day after other, we are standing at the end of the year.
I am sure there were days with num eyes and there were days to cheer.
There must be many souls that we have touched and many feelings that we have searched.
But now when we look back, those memories are kept safe in our treasure bag.

So we bid adieu 2016.. Its end is only to a new Beginning.
So friends, pad up and lets start the new inning.


H M Badruzzaman

The SHACKLES of NOTHING...

With each passing day, we grow. We get matured and we enhance our experiences. And according to Darwin we give proof that we are the fittest as we have survived a day more. But with this ticking of clock, there is something also gets growing. And that is a SHACKLE, which unknowing started getting a grip on everything of ours. From our free legs to the untangled flow of thoughts.
Have you ever herd that story of EMPTY BAG-PACK?
Well somehow it goes like this : Lets assume everyone has a bag-pack. And yes its empty. Now at a given moment we are asked to fill the bag with everything that is important to us. It could be anything we want and it doesn't need to be a materialistic thing. And we are said that from now on, only this bag-pack will be with us, nothing else. Now try loading most important things in it without which we wont be able to survive. So, here goes the food and some clothes. Okay, now lets get little more accommodative and get a little place to stay. Now once that covered, lets try and get our loved ones in that. Because yes certainly we love to be close to our loved ones. Okay so, here goes our spouses, our parents, our siblings, our friends. Lets see. The bag-pack seems very heavy already.
We are humans right? Whats the thing that make us superior? Our ability to express. Our ability to feel. Our ability to gather emotions. Now lets try putting these things in the bag-pack as well. Lets put the expectations, expectations from the loved one to understand us. Expectation from the world to treat us fairly. Expectations from our spouses, lovers to be loving and caring.
Expectations to be IMPORTANT in someone's life. Expectations to not have to prove your loyalty and love over and again. Expectations of having LESS expectation from others. Well thats little bit more than that we have thought. Right? But again thats how Expectations are. I could see that that we have packed our bag too heavy. But I guess we are not done yet. We have to load few more things. Lets put all the amazing moments that we have lived in the past. Lets put all the tears
that we have shed for someone. Lets put all the struggles that that we fought through to reach where-ever we are. Lets not forget to load the dreams and aspirations for a better tomorrow. Now zip the bag-pack. We are ready to go. Now lets get that bag on our shoulder and start walking. What do you think..? We wont to able to take a single step.
The burden on our shoulder is too heavy to walk.?
Well the SHACKLES that I was talking about started making a little sense now. Whatever thing that I have mentioned to put it in the bag-pack, to find those or to handle those we add a new chain in our shackles. And I know, with each passing day we keep on growing the chain.
I have seen and realized that somehow we are not in control of it. And even if we want to stop it, it keeps growing. Things go out of my hand and the chain gripping me gets a little heavier. When I see a small baby giggling, smiling and playing with its own. I see a smile which came automatically to my face. Sometime I question, will our smile and happiness be ever be like a baby, which is very less dependent on others. How our life changes from giggle, sometimes to contemplate.
From calm and composed to disturbed.
From smiling and playing to sleepless nights.
From assured to Fragile.
In the fight to co-exist knowingly or unknowingly we keep on adding SHACKLES and FETTERS to our existence. And we seldom think about that.

As a human being I am very cautious. I don't like to loose my calm. But sometimes I do. Then I try to find out which is the actual me. The one who never looses calm or the one who just lost that. And in the fight of this finding I tend to add one more chain to my existing shackle. I don't want to hurt people and sometime I do hurt knowingly or unknowingly. Again a similar fight of finding and one more chain.
Mostly I want to do the right thing without thinking what the world will think of me. But then there are people who are near to me whom I want to be happy and I want to be good in their eyes. And I know the chain is growing.

There was a second part of the story as well that I was mentioning earlier. Its of trying to off load things from the bag-pack that we
have just filled with all the things.

There are times when the mundane hunt of co-existence gets a back-seat and my mind ogle out to thoughts like shackles and bag-pack.
And wish and I want to sit in quiet sea shore, with winds touching my face, and with each waves touching my feet taking away one chain at
a time. And with the setting sun, all my chains would have gone. And I would be SHACKLE free.
I just want to imagine how it would be like to have that bag-pack empty and then walk.
It seems as if I could fly. :) flying towards the horizon.



H M Badruzzaman